Invasion

There’s one thing I know for certain – no one, and I mean no one, had an Easter Sunday like mine. There are three adults in our household, and for the most part we all cook our own meals because of our weird tastes and eating habits. Once in a while though, for a special occasion, I get invited to a Sunday roast.

While I was mooching around in my room I got a text from mother requesting that I do a quick sketch of my sister, her boyfriend and the doggo. I’m not talented enough to do a quick sketch of something like that so it would end up taking me all day. I said no, but when mum explained why she wanted them, I went one better.

If there’s one thing I love about my family, it’s that we are all quite bonkers. Mum wanted pictures of our absent family so that we could pretend they were joining us for dinner. Then I got carried away.

I printed out pictures of their faces, but then wondered how awesome it would be if I attached them to sticks and sat them at the table. Mum then encouraged me by suggesting that we give them t-shirts (by this time I’m nearly wetting myself with laughter) then the icing on the cake was when I thought to give them stick arms. I haven’t laughed so much in such a long time.

As I was looking for pictures that would print well, I couldn’t resist this hilarious picture of my sister’s boyfriend doing a pretend grumpy face one Christmas. I looks as if Newton has just let off a really smelly parp, which is exactly what he would have done if he was really there. Just before we ate, I video called my sister and luckily she wasn’t frightened at all and thought it was as funny as me and mum did. My brother said something like ‘save me’, but deep down I bet he was really just impressed at our stroke of genius. That must be it.

We decided to keep stick-Newton until we can have the real one back. Even stick-Newton is better than no Newton.

On Monday I had planned to start eating healthily again, however when I last went shopping I bought a huge bag of granola for ’emergencies’. Well, it kept calling to me and I ended up having granola for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks (with ice cold coconut milk, flipping delicious I tell you) and couldn’t leave it alone till it was all gone. I regret nothing, it was ace.

Yesterday though, I realised I had to get myself sorted. Not because of weight gain or anything like that, but because I believe I had genuinely become a fire hazard. When I eat rubbish, my tummy does not at all approve and what with the vast quantities of broccoli and cauliflower I ate Sunday, there was a critical build-up of noxious gasses. Lives were at steak – a flick of a light switch and we all could have gone up in flames.

After a day of eating sensibly (including some absolutely banging Marmite roast potatoes), all is back to normal and the crisis has been averted.

Last week, after a delivery of compost, I decided to test my green fingers. The last time my sister came to the house, I don’t even remember when, she left me some plant babies. I thought I had compost in the garage but we were all out, so I just got some mud out of the garden and popped them in an old container I found.

So far so good.

As they’re house plants, I had to bring them indoors. I popped them on the windowsill, and happily went about my day.

Next morning, I woke up to find that I was not alone in bed. I was sharing the duvet with several ants. Ah. I tried to live with them for a while, but in the end I was overrun and had to risk leaving the plants outside.

By the time the compost had been delivered, they were not happy. But then I cut away the dead bits and I have new growth. Perhaps I can be a plant lady after all!

I’m not a huge fan of instructions. I’ve had some seeds in the cupboard for years, but when I read the instructions I put off planting them. It all sounds so complicated – acidic soils, alkaline soils, sunlight, shade, indoors, outdoors, not too much watering, not too little… in the end I just decided to stick everything in pots randomly and hope for the best.

Then after a few days of nothing, we have… life! Check out my cool timelapse, taken over a period of about seven hours yesterday.

Considering some of my seeds should have been sown by 2017 at the latest (according to the packets), and the most recent of them should have been sown by April 2019, I’m really pleased that I have anything at all. It’s all surprisingly exciting!

I’m sure you’re all sitting on the edge of your seats at this point. Don’t worry, I’ll be sure to keep you updated.

Thanks for reading,

Hayley x