Broken Promises

Let’s get the Slimming World stuff out of the way first. Over Christmas I coped quite well with a big but manageable and guilt-free gain. Since then though, I feel like I haven’t been able to stop eating crap! I don’t even really want it, I’m just munching down sugary, fatty rubbish like there’s no tomorrow.

This weekend is the first weekend in months and months that I’ve had to myself, and rather than doing what I’d promised i.e. slowing down and taking more time for myself, I actually haven’t stopped the whole time except to sleep. Even that has been restless. I’ve just been grabbing whatever to eat partly because I just couldn’t be bothered to prepare anything and partly because I was all too willing to give into my cravings.

So we start again, again, again. Sigh. I’m trying to get enthusiastic about it but I’m struggling a bit at the mo.

I missed group yesterday, which was half expected. I started the weekend by beginning the mammoth task of sorting through basically everything I own and even though it shouldn’t have come as a surprise, it took a lot, lot longer than I thought it would. I had still hoped to make it to weigh in, but I realised weigh in had already started when I was still up to my knees in boxes and who even knows what else.

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I ended yesterday with three sacks of charity shop donations (which as I’m so busy are being picked up by a charity tomorrow) a big pile of stuff to sell, a sack or two of stuff that was no good to anyone, and a nice clean floor that you can actually see. I now have a garden full of a dismantled wardrobe, two dismantled shelving units, a broken cooker and various other bits and bobs. Yeah, there are a few tip runs needed.

Today, even though I have work tonight, I spent the whole day cleaning. I have scrubbed the kitchen walls from top to bottom, cleaned the tops of the cupboards, cleaned the kitchen windows, vacuumed and scrubbed as much carpet as I could before I ran out of cleaner.

I still have an absolute ton of stuff to do around the house, but where I’ve been imagining the end result I subconsciously got it into my head that everything needs to be done yesterday. As such I’ve turned something I was looking forward to doing into something that’s stressing me out, so I need to put my money where my mouth is and CHILL THE HELL OUT AND ACTUALLY START LOOKING LOOKING AFTER MYSELF. I mean it this time.

Tomorrow I’m doing things for me. I’m going to be on plan, I’m going to hula hoop (something I haven’t done for a couple of months now) and do something artistic. No stressing.

Hopefully happy Hayley will be back for the next post!

Thanks for reading x