Start Again Again

I’ve decided that an even fresher of fresh starts is needed, because this week has not exactly gone to plan! It started on Wednesday, with my first shift back at work for the new year. I was curious when my manager asked to speak to me after the brief – normally that happens when you’re in trouble but I couldn’t have done anything wrong already, could I?

I could. I was supposed to be in New Year’s Day, but thankfully my manager knew it was totally out of character and that I wasn’t trying to pull a fast one. In fact it’s screwed me over because I won’t get paid for that shift and one of my newest resolutions is to not take unpaid time off work. Bum.

My most important plan (to sleep more) is also off to a rocky start. Yesterday I had a busy morning, a really restless 4.5 hours sleep, then I went to see Steve for a few hours before work. He said that we could do it another time, but heart over head, I wanted to see him so I went anyway. Before I even left his I was dreaming of getting my shift over and crawling into bed.

I had a revolting yet, um, interesting (and sugar free) parma violet-flavoured energy drink on the way to his, another on the way to work, one during my shift, plus a cup of tea on my lunch break… but when early finishes were offered at 4:45 I couldn’t help myself and I went home.

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It has never been so clear to me that extreme tiredness equals ravenous hunger. I was tummy-rumbling hungry from the moment I woke despite eating loads of on-plan food, so by the time I got home I just snapped and ate some rubbish that will set me back a little bit this week.

I don’t  see it as a disaster, because when I woke up at 10am to feed Pea (feeling a lot more human) I realised that I still had the whole day ahead of me with another 14 hours’ opportunity to be on plan. I have three whole days, plus a few hours, before I get weighed, with loads of potential to make progress. The fact I’m sitting here writing about what happened is progress in itself after all.

Now I’m spending another 15 minutes hanging out with Pea (who is currently shouting at me because she isn’t enjoying the sound of my typing) then it’s back to bed to get as much sleep as possible before I… go to Steve’s before work again. It won’t be like yesterday though, I’ll be going with at least twice as much sleep under my belt, and no evil energy drinks.

Thanks for reading,

Hayley x