Life is Poo!

Life isn’t bad by any means, but over the last week or so life has become somewhat focused on poo – specifically whether Newton has done one, what consistency it was and where it was ‘deposited’. We have a Newton group chat so we can give various updates while my sister and her partner are at work, which has occasionally been used to share things such as a video of Newton being able to jump on the sofa for the first time. Mostly though, it’s just poop. That’s what life is now. It’s well worth it though, because his cuteness is reaching critical levels. I may actually explode.

Today, I feel good. Actually I feel fantastic, because I genuinely feel (with no having to force it) like I can and absolutely WILL hit my target. When I’ve tried to get myself back on plan for, ooh, the whole of this year, I’ve felt in the back of my mind that it was only temporary, that the cravings were just waiting in the background for the first signs of weakness. Talk about a self fulfilling prophecy.

This week I’ve got my patience back. I’ve relearned to accept that these things take time and maybe I’m not going to get huge losses like I’ve been used to in the past. I’m now willing to accept consistency. As long as I have a loss each week, I will be grateful for that, and little by little, a little will become a lot.

I’m entirely sure that this week there will be no Sunday takeaway, because I’m sick of being a slave to my cravings. I was doing fine until I got back into the habit of eating rubbish – I didn’t eat ice cream or pizza for months and months and wasn’t the slightest bit bothered. I can get back to that state of mind, and now the weather is getting distinctly chilly it’s the perfect time to do it. It’s way too cold for ice cream!

Over the last few days I’ve been immensely enjoying Newton’s company. His personality is coming out more and more each day, and he has me wrapped around his little finger. I got told off yesterday for sitting in his favourite spot on the sofa.

He actually barked at me because he wanted my seat!

Now we are in October, that also means it’s Inktober, which I dabbled with in 2017. You are supposed to do an ink drawing every day of the month, but I gave up after day 5.

This year I’m doing birdtober, and I doubt I’ll chuck it in this time around because I’m enjoying myself too much. I only found out about it on the 2nd but I caught up straight away.

Today’s offering is a little more rough and ready, but I’m getting better at being ok with that. Last night at work I had unexpected training, and since I smashed the theory part and finished quite a long time before anyone else, rather than just stare at the walls I sketched out an oriole on a bit of scrap paper. I gave him a little colour this evening.

Oh, I also smashed the practical with zero faults. It wasn’t hard but still, it’s nice to have a perfect little moment!

I also went into work early on Wednesday, for free and on purpose. Our Union rep, who is also in charge of lifelong learning, suggested getting a gardening group together. I’d love to learn more about gardening in order to improve our own garden, but don’t know where to start.

The big bosses have agreed that we can use any spare green areas on site and has also agreed to give us a small budget for tools and supplies.

Others in the group are day shift people I don’t know (yet) with some experienced gardeners to tell the rest of us what to do. We can do as little or as much as we like and I’m really looking forward to it. I’m currently encouraging the implementation of many bird feeders and boxes, and there’s a lovely lady I met who wants to come charity shop hopping with me. The Union rep told me we’d get on, and he wasn’t wrong!

Although life has been great I’ve been feeling especially sleepy this week, so I’ve spent most of today actually asleep. Who is this sensible person I’ve become? As a result though, I’m a bit behind and really should finish cooking my dinner.

Thanks for reading,

Hayley x

The Beast

In between me paying for my most recent charity shop purchase (namely the 70’s unit) and it being delivered, I managed to shrink it in my mind. When it turned up I was sure it had doubled in size since I last saw it.

The delivery guys left it in the hall at my request because I knew I’d need to move some things in order to get it up the stairs. So I moved the bookcase that lives in the hall then asked my brother to help me lug it up to my room.

Another thing I didn’t realise, is that the unit is make of teak.

Teak is SOLID.

Teak is DENSE.

Teak is HEAVY.

We somehow got the unit to the top of the stairs, at which point it got stuck. We couldn’t get it round the bannister at the top. I felt sick, my vision started going grainy and I was sure I was going to pass out. Luckily my brother was able to hold it at the top while I dashed off for a sip of water, but when I came back to help we couldn’t get it back down into the hall again, at least not without flipping it over. I’d reached complete muscle fatigue by this point and knew I didn’t have it in me.

By now I was considering going to the shops for an axe and smashing the thing to smithereens, but instead I patiently unscrewed the legs.

Let me tell you, they built things to last in those days. When the earth is decimated by nuclear war one thing will still be standing – my beast of a unit. Once I’d removed all of the screws, still nothing was moving.

They were also held on by glue that’d had 40-odd years to set. My little bro was not to be deterred though, and eventually he got the legs off using an ancient chisel, a hammer and plenty of brute force.

Then we got it up the stairs! My brother may possibly have a broken foot, I am bruised and aching everywhere, but it’s in its place. It’ll now be some time before I get around to doing it up, but I’m in no rush. The main thing is that I have places to put all of my stuff.

Clothes and shoes live under the bed (it’s one of those lift-up ones), photography stuff lives in my telephone table (also to be up-cycled), Pea sits on my Ikea drawers and everything else goes in the unit. Lovely. I’ve never been this decluttered and free of stuff in my entire life.

I’d also never repotted a plant, until this week. So I think I am a proper adult now?

Let’s see if I can keep these alive. I absolutely love my yellow pot which is another Ikea purchase, and was originally terracotta. I took a can of cheap spray paint to it and now it’s a lot more cheerful. I’m all about bright colours lately.

Yesterday was a trip to the doctor’s to get more happy pills and to talk about my knee. As far as the knee goes (it’s been especially painful lately) the doctor assured me it’s just wear and tear and I won’t make it worse by continuing to go on long walks. However he is referring me for physio to strengthen the muscles around the knee, and I’m looking forward to getting more specialist advice.

As for the depression I must say I’m still feeling rather flat. Although it’s not ideal, at least I’m feeling stable and managing to get loads of stuff done. I’m keeping up with my little sketches and generally doing ok, but I’m still not entirely pleased with my progress.

I suppose I just have to be patient and give it time, but apart from feeling flat my eating is waaaaaay outta control, the worst it’s been in years. I desperately want to sort it out, and each evening I pull myself together and tell myself tomorrow will be different. So far it hasn’t been true though. Still, at least it’s now only one aspect of daily life I’m struggling with as opposed to this time last week when I was questioning everything. I’m feeling a lot more settled in that respect!

Ah, it’ll all be fine I’m sure. One constant I have is good people around me, and when it comes to that side of things I couldn’t be more content. Yay for decent folk!

Thanks for reading,

Hayley x

PS for some reason my commenting has turned itself off and won’t come back, despite it working on a test post I did the other day. I’m currently stumped! So sorry about that, and I’ll sort it when I can!

PPS I figured it out! Lord knows how it got switched off because I had to do it through the ancient WordPress editor that I haven’t used in yonks. Stoopid WordPress…

I’ll do it tomorrow…

‘I’ll do it tomorrow’ has been my motto for the last month. I’ll get back on plan, I’ll go for the walk, I’ll do the thing, whatever the thing may be. But tomorrow never arrives, so yesterday I had to grit my teeth and just do it. I haven’t been doing much, because everything is an uphill struggle again. There’s no real reason why, just the blues I guess.

So I ate the healthy things, and have done the same today. That can only improve matters in the long run, especially as due to the rubbish I’ve been eating my face has erupted with spots. They’re everywhere, in parts of my face I’ve never had a spot in my life! If that’s not my body telling me things have to change then I don’t know what is.

They have started to calm down now, but in any case I think my current house guest is doing a good job at taking the attention away from my face.

Here she is again modelling my latest Ikea purchase which I’m oh so happy with. I fell in love with these boards as soon as I saw them, and luckily they’re some of the crazy cheap things you can get from Ikea.

The little plastic drawers are so cool, they pull out but the lid stays put so you can put cute stuff on top! I’m going back to get another one next month.

Here’s part of my room as it looks now. There is normally more space but since I had to accommodate an extra birdy I had to move things around. I reckon I’ll have the time and money to decorate in October so I thought I’d use this opportunity to show you my ‘before’ picture. I’m really looking forward to the end result.

You can also see that under the window there is an old fashioned telephone table which I bought from a charity shop for £25. I’m going to sand it down and repaint it, then it will be used to store all of my photography equipment. My camera bag fits perfectly in the compartment under the seat and the more fragile bits and bobs go in the drawers.

All I’ll tell you about the rest of my plans for my room is that it’s ‘colourful’. You’ll just have to wait and see what else I have in store!

It’s now the end of my weekend which has flown by in record time. I went to visit the friend whose wedding I’m photographing on Sunday, and I ended up not getting home till gone 11pm after only having 3 hours sleep after my Saturday night shift. It’s taken me the rest of the weekend to recover from that to be honest, but at least I got some important things done. I’m sure this will be the last time he ever gets married so I really don’t want to mess it up.

I did manage to start filling in my sketch book during the week, and although I hadn’t planned on sharing it here is a little drawing of one of our cats.

Her head is a bit squished, but I must keep reminding myself IT DOESN’T MATTER! We all have to start somewhere.

My knee is still sore but I did manage to get out for one lovely walk with a friend.

He’s not the kind who would normally walk for fun so I’m not sure if he’ll come again, but I’ll keep trying anyhoo.

From tomorrow (yes, I really WILL do it tomorrow) I’m going to ramp up the walking again starting with a trip round the park straight from work in the morning.

That’s sure to make me feel a bit better at least.

Thanks for reading,

Hayley x