I can’t WAIT till the first of December! I do try to hold off on the decorations and music until then, plus on that day we are having a festive family craft afternoon followed by a special sibling Christmas dinner at The Oak Tree vegan restaurant.
From a more practical point of view, it means I can stop doing my hair on work days. December means Christmas hat time, but, shock horror, I don’t have as many as I thought I did.
I only have eight.
It was seven, but I found Mr Penguin in Primark yesterday after remembering there was definitely a penguin-shaped hole in my collection. That’s something at least.
It’s unlikely I’m going to find another 7 unique hats in time to have a different one for each shift before I break up for Christmas, so I’ll rather embarrassingly have to wear some of these twice. How awful!
I’m putting on a brave face and trying to stay positive about it nonetheless, which is lucky because as I was getting my Crimbo supplies from the loft I found some things to test my newfound hopeful outlook. Worst of all was my Mrs Santa outfit, in a size 14. I’m currently a size 18, so I won’t even bother trying it on, I’ll just focus on how good I’m going to feel when I wear it next year. Which I definitely will! I will have been at target for months by that point.
I think the reason I’m staying positive is because of a successful shopping trip yesterday. I was browsing the Laura Ashley sale rail when I cam across this purple beauty:
Laura Ashley go up to a size 18, and there was one there so I thought I’d try it on, and take the opportunity to do some ‘before’ selfies as a record of this most recent fresh start.
It fit perfectly. I shall wear the frig out of it this season – including the sibling meal, to Christmas Eve drinks with friends, and Christmas Day. I don’t actually think I have anything else planned, but if something comes up, I’m wearing it!
I did have a changing room revelation. I was thinking back to Christmas 2016. I’d lost 3 stone that year, and although I was feeling a lot better about myself the fact remains I was desperate to lose a couple more stone. To be able to look relatively ‘normal’. To have choices. To shop in Laura Ashley. And here I am, doing what 2016 Hayley only dreamed of!
In reality I don’t look half as bad as my depressed brain said I did. AND my work salopettes are feeling slightly looser already! It only takes a few days of really eating properly for the bloating to go down.
There is hope. I’m back, and I’m really trying to stick around this time.
I even did a little painting.
Just for the fun of it.
Thanks for reading,