I can, but I didn’t.

But I will.

In my last post I wrote about being on plan when I can, but that didn’t quite work out. I did one day before everything went topsy turvy.

The next day I got into work to find out that one of the managers had brought in cakes to thank us for our hard work. That’s OK I thought, I won’t be able to eat any of those.

Before the thought had barely registered though my manager pulled me to one side. She felt bad that the last time we had cakes I missed out, so she bought me a big bar of vegan-friendly dark chocolate and a little honeycomb bar. How lovely of her! I’d seen the honeycomb one online and it was on my to-try list, so that was extra brilliant.

I lasted two hours before I cracked, and all of the chocolate was gone shortly after.

The next day I found the giant vegan-friendly mince pies in Co-op, so I bought a couple of those (but I did give one to Steve) and then on Saturday things really went wrong.

We were planning to go out, but Steve wasn’t feeling very well so that was shelved, and by the time I got round to his I wasn’t really feeling it either. I’ve just been exhausted this weekend – I think everything has finally caught up with me.

So over the weekend I totally lost the plot and have eaten waaaaaay too much, and all of it was the wrong stuff.

On the plus side I’m now sick to death of bad food, but since I’ve been eating rubbish right up until bed time yesterday, I’m bloated as hell and will be seeing a massive gain at group this evening. I’m also hormonal. It is what it is though. I missed group last week and refuse to miss it again.

The good thing is that there’s still time.

I reckon I’ve put on half a stone, but I also know I’m in with a good chance of getting that back off in a week, and certainly by Christmas Eve morning. Originally there was going to be no group, but my awesome consultant has arranged a morning session so we can weigh in one last time before the big day.

I’ve got two whole weeks to undo any damage done, with only one thing that might throw a spanner in the works. I’m out of a meal on the 16th, but it’s just one meal, and I doubt it’ll be anything particularly bad. It’s not a very vegan-friendly place so last time we ate there I had the only option available to me which was a tomato-based gnocchi dish. If I don’t drink (and I don’t plan to) I should be fine. Let’s do this!

In other news Friday was ‘Dress like an Elf Day’, and as I suspected I was the only one who made an effort. Unfortunately it was also a really quiet night at work with not many people in so it was all a little underwhelming.

Some of the newer members of staff just stared at me like I was absolutely cracked, but a few others laughed so that was nice.

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Regardless, I clearly looked fabulous. I’m also pretty chuffed that the last time I wore that jumper it was tight on me. Christmas NSV, yay!

Today I made an effort to get up early so I can make two Christmas presents. I aim to have them done by the time I leave for group this evening, then I have tomorrow off work so I plan to make three more Christmas presents. These ones are a little more in-depth but I reckon I can complete them. After that the present-making will all be done and I can concentrate on wrapping and making pretty labels which is one of my very favourite parts.

While I’m doing my crafting I’m also going to be watching Christmas films with my mum. I do love this time of year!

I’m definitely going to make more time for blogging this week, because it really helps me stay on track.

And I really need to stay on track.

Until next time,

Hayley x

Party Time

Let’s start off with a little big confession. I had the best plan – I worked out how many days I’d be off plan in December and tried to concentrate on being spot on every other day. Then Sunday happened.

I’ve got to admit that, last week especially, I’ve been doing too much and pushing myself to the limit. Several days I had less than four hours sleep, was doing a night shift (and working hard) whilst trying to make the most of seeing my, eek, boyfriend AND doing fun things with the family.

Speaking of which, I’d like to introduce you to someone.

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This is Steve, and he’s the person who was training me back in February, going on holiday with me in May and generally spending all of his time with me. Thankfully he’s now realised how awesome I am and well, we’re inseparable now.

Anyway, you’ll undoubtedly be seeing more of him, but for now lets get on with things. On Saturday instead of spending the day in bed like I should have I was out of the house by 10am to drive my brother to get his tattoo done. The place was just around the corner from my sister’s, so I hung out with her as he’d be spending pretty much the whole day there.

My sister would have been totally fine with me spending the day asleep, but where’s the fun in that? Instead (after a spot of shopping and a trip to Costa Coffee) we did calligraphy practice, and I’m really happy with the results.

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Nice and festive!

In the afternoon I had to relent and went for a nap, and as soon as my head hit the pillow I was gone. The next thing I knew, it was all dark and someone was shaking me. I jumped out of my skin, and so did my sister who had been trying to wake me up for quite a while and believed that I was dead. My brother’s tattoo was finished (which looks absolutely SPECTACULAR by the way) and it was time to go home.

I managed another hour before work, but having about five hours sleep for the whole day, broken into three parts, is less than ideal.

On Sunday morning after work I slept for 2.5 hours before getting up for more fun stuff. I’d invited my sister over for family Christmas craft day with my mum and brother. It’s not really my brother’s cup of tea normally but I told him it was compulsory.

I’ll go into a bit more detail about what we got up to in another post because I’m really disorganised today and don’t have access to the photos I took.

Anyway, after popping to the shops for a GIANT Americano, Steve picked me up so that we could go to Lakeside. Lakeside is a HUGE shopping centre, which is generally hell on earth, and even more so at weekend’s. But he needed a new battery for his phone which we couldn’t get on a Sunday anywhere else, so we had to brave it.

The shops were rammed and the heating was set to ‘tropical’, so by the time it came to grab some food (from M&S, how fancy) I just wanted to get out of there. I was hot, tired, a bit stressed and damn well HUNGRY.

When I spotted the M&S vegan Christmas sandwich, well, I couldn’t resist. The thing about sandwiches is, well, they’re made of bread. I haven’t had bread for months, and do you know why that is? When I have bread, it totally sets me off.

In my weakened state I didn’t stop to consider that.

When we got back home we ended up having no small amount of wine and an impromptu little living-room party. Which was awesome, but not exactly sensible. 

Since then I’ve been craving bread like nothing on earth which has sent me off the rails. I had to skip weigh in yesterday because I just didn’t have the damn time, so I must admit it has carried on to today.

Tomorrow though, I’m going to be good. Not just good, I’m going to absolutely perfect until I go out for a birthday celebration on Saturday. I have so many things planned between now and the new year, that gains are now inevitable, and we are now into damage limitation territory.

I’m not overly concerned though. As long as I go cold turkey from now on and stay away from bread, which I honestly need to cut out of my life completely, then things should get easier again. Plus there’s no reason why I should miss weigh in between now and… the foreseeable future, so I’m all good.

I keep shifting the goalposts when it comes to my Christmas goals, and for now it’s just to stay in the 12 stone bracket, which I think I can do. I’ll try my best anyway!

Already though although I’m looking forward to all of the events leading up to it and Christmas day itself, I’m also super excited about the new year and really smashing my goals. It’s going to be bloody brilliant.

Now I must pop off and get my dinner, and honestly, once I’ve eaten a giant vegan-friendly mince pie from Co-op, I swear I’ll be good.

Scout’s honour.

Thanks for reading,

Hayley x