Worrywart

It’s been a bit of a funny couple of days. I haven’t been sleeping all that well, because I’ve been too busy worrying about silly things. The circular thoughts and catastrophising have returned somewhat and I’ve been feeling more than a little anxious. I know my brain is lying, so I’m just carrying on regardless, and it helps to know not to pay attention when that annoying little voice tells me everything is going to go wrong.

When I feel like this all it takes is one little thing that’s bothering me to get stuck in a (seemingly) never ending loop in my mind that drowns out every other thought. The good thing though? The last time I thought it was never ending, it ended, and I felt better.

This is temporary.

One great thing about blogging is that you often find others out there are just like you.

For instance this week I’m really worried that I’m not going to lose weight because I haven’t wanted to enough.

I feel like because I’ve taken my eye off the ball (where I’ve been busy with other things) although I’ve been within my syns every single day I won’t lose because I haven’t given it enough headspace.

This is completely illogical. Laughable even. But I’d bet all of my worldly possessions that I’m not the only one.

On a lighter note, one thing I believe I am completely alone in is that sometimes I have an itch and I don’t know where it is.

I’ll scratch my elbow thinking the itch is there, but after I’ve scratched I still have an itch. But I’m not sure if it’s in my knee, or on my shoulder, or a butt cheek. It’s not until I scratch the right place that I discover where it is.

Weird right? C’mon internet, prove me wrong and tell me it’s not just me!

Anyway…

Today I’ve been keeping busy with lots of preparations. I’m out early tomorrow and I’m taking lunch with me, which is already done and in the fridge.

I also have a big breakfast already made which I’ll eat before I go to give me the energy I need for the journey (and beyond). I’ll explain where I’m going in the next post, you’ll have to be patient for that part!

Lunch is ENORMOUS – I’m already wondering how many extra calories I’ll burn by lugging it around. It’s also completely free on Slimming World and includes some interesting ‘unicorn carrots’ from Lidl.

There is also the standard orange colour and a carrot masquerading as a parsnip, but I don’t have pictures of those.

I have a microwave meal for 6.5 syns that I can have when I get home if I’m too tired to cook, so I reckon I’m sorted.

I’ve also been wondering (vainly) what to wear because I don’t feel all that comfortable in my usual walking stuff, which would come in handy as it’s looking like it’s going to chuck it down tomorrow.

Instead I’m going to wear mostly practical clothing which I’m comfortable in and will mostly keep me dry. Plus my coat has a hood and I have a brolly. I’ll be fine.

Lately I either look like I woke up in a bin or I’m super fancy. Today the most exciting thing I’ve done is go to Aldi, but I dressed up anyway because I felt like it.

It’s nice to feel confident enough to go out both looking like a tramp and completely overdressed!

Other than that all I’ve done today is take autumnal photos when really I should have been catching up with other things.

So sue me!

Thanks for reading,

Hayley x

A Chilled Out Day

I woke up today feeling GOOD. I had a tough night at work, so much so that I couldn’t eat all of my work lunch because I felt all churned up inside, but that just meant I had leftovers to eat when I got home. Bonus! By that time I’d worked things through in my head anyway and I was ready for a good sleep.

I got up to feed Pea as usual when the doorbell rang. It was my vegan trainers already! Unfortunately they’re just a teeny bit too small, so they’re going back (freepost, yay!) for an exchange. The signs are good though – apart from the obvious toe-pinching they are super comfortable. Since my knee is feeling almost back to normal now, by the time the exchange arrives then I’ll be more than ready to take them out for a literal test run.

Since I’m not training today I decided I’d go back to bed and sleep in until 2 or 3pm. I haven’t had a sleep like that after a night shift in so long, I always have plans or have to get up early for something or other.

Considering I don’t have anywhere I must be today, do you think I can sleep? Nope! Instead of laying there fruitlessly trying to get off I decided to get up, start this post, then after I’ve had my coffee and let Pea out to stretch her wings I’m going out for a little walk. The weather is perfect out there – cool, breezy and, most importantly, sunny.

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Pea definitely seems in the mood for catching some rays.

Some time later…

Well my walk was… fruitful. I went to the post office to drop off my trainers as the sooner I get them off the sooner the replacements can come back to me (eek!) then I popped into Co-op for some plant-based milk. After a bit of research using Syns Online I decided to get the own-brand coconut drink. You get 500ml for a healthy extra A choice, and it’s much, much nicer than any other brand I’ve tried so far. In fact it’s bloody delicious.

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In Lidl’s I got these little tins of stuffed veg. The vine leaves are listed on the app as 8.5 syns for the tin, and the others aren’t on there. I did suspect that would be the case, and as they were labelled in the shop ‘while stocks last’ I think it’s unlikely they ever will be. I considered this though, and since they have a shelf life of literally years and years, I’ll eat them at some point in the future when I’m not too worried about my Syns. Either way they’re clearly marked vegan, which always makes me happy.

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I’ve just finished a nice healthy lunch (1 syn for the Fry’s vegan sausages) with the green one in the sunshine, and that can only mean one thing. It’s time for bed!

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Thanks for reading,

Hayley x