Wait, what?

To be honest, I’m in shock.

I went on my first diet when I was about 14, when the plan was to skip lunch (that way I could also save my lunch money and spend it on CDs) and just have pasta with a tin of tomatoes for dinner. I lost a bit of weight, but unsurprisingly it wasn’t long before hunger took over and I went back to eating ‘normally’. Of course the weight piled back on. My memory from around that time is really sketchy, but I’m sure my clothing size was in the 20’s. I’d guess my weight was in the 20’s too.

I didn’t seriously diet again until I started working full time at 17. Although I don’t think I was a paying member, I was following the principals of Slimming World and I lost five stone in five months. It was at this point I started to think about my target weight, so I looked up my BMI.

To be in the healthy range I’d have to be 12 stone 12 pounds, so that’s what I decided to aim for.

In 2004, I achieved that weight. I was taking diet pills that although were technically prescribed by a doctor were sold out of a salon. I also had gall stones and had regular attacks which were made worse by eating anything fatty, so that combined with dodgy appetite suppressants meant that although I felt utterly dreadful, when I stepped on the scales for the pre-op check before having my gall bladder removed, the scales read 12.12 exactly.

I stayed that weight for, hmm, perhaps a week before it all went back on (I gained about 9 stone over the next year) and I’ve been trying to get back there ever since.

When I stepped on the scales at group yesterday, I knew it would be OK because I’d had a sneak peek at home. But I didn’t know just how OK it would be.

I stepped on and 12st 8lbs popped up. My mind went blank, and all of a sudden I couldn’t remember what I weighed last week.

‘Er, now much have I lost?’ I asked.

‘6.5 pounds’

Wait, what? I hadn’t done anything differently, yet I’d had this amazing loss. Because of that it took a while for my actual weight to sink in.

I am now the lightest I have been in my ENTIRE ADULT LIFE.

This is so huge, but I can’t comprehend it. It isn’t real yet. Oh, and I also got my 8.5 stone award!

There’s also the fact that, if I hadn’t lowered my target, right now I’d be two pounds under my target weight. Like… what?

I’m pleased that I did lower my target weight, because now I’m at this point I know I’m not ready to stop. I know it was the right thing to do. I’m thinking that 11 stone 11 pounds seems a nice number, and it’ll also give me my 9.5 stone award. The truth is though, I’m in completely unknown territory so I won’t really know what my target is till I reach it. Whatever it is, it can’t be far off!

This morning I did weigh myself at home just to make sure last night wasn’t a fluke (it wasn’t) then I walked into town for some Body Magic. There were no exciting purchases today, but I’m glad I went out in the awful weather because I don’t want to get into the habit of using it as an excuse.

I’ll be out there, rain or shine! I was actually much happier than I appear in the picture. I’m not really sure what that expression is about!

For the week ahead I’ll just keep doing what I’m doing, because it sure has been working well so far.

Thanks for reading,

Hayley x

Fresh!

Today I have been planning the freshest of starts. I was mulling it all over in my head at work and after a lot of thought I have decided to start afresh with my blog.

The reason for this is that, eventually, I want to go fully public. Or rather, I don’t want to actively hide it from people I know. I want to be able to share it with anyone I want to. I’d like to begin by letting my wonderful Slimming World group know it exists, because they are a special bunch of people.

When I first started the blog I kept it anonymous so, as long as I didn’t name names, I could say pretty much anything I felt like. It was nothing bad, I just never had to filter my thoughts. At the time it was a fantastic form of therapy and I’m so glad I had that outlet.

I’d probably be absolutely fine keeping all of my old posts, but I’d hate to inadvertently upset someone I care about (or even someone I don’t care about for that matter), so from now on I’ll be posting with it in my head that anyone could be reading it.

Two years ago this would mean me not sharing things like starting weights and pictures of myself, but I’m not that person any more. I feel sad at how I felt when I was at my biggest, but I absolutely do not feel ashamed. I also used to worry that it would appear vain to post selfies and celebrate weight loss milestones and non-scale victories, but my point of view on that has done a complete 180.

I LOVE seeing people’s successes and it helps me to show mine. If it helps other people then that’s even better!

What I’ll do soon is write a post about how I got to this point and leave it as a permanent, separate page for anyone confused about why this blog seemingly just popped out of nowhere, but apart from that it’s just business as usual.

It’s been a while since I last posted, but there isn’t a huge amount to catch up on because this week has not been all that exciting.

I’ve still been really tired so I’ve been taking care of myself and getting extra sleep. I found my concentration was slipping at work, and since I drive a 5 ton forklift truck it could be dangerous so I had to do something about that. I’m all caught up now and I’m back on form, so it was clearly the right thing to do.

It’s been cold at work so I’ve been wearing my salopettes every day. I can feel how differently they fit – there’s definitely a lot more space in there than there was this time last year! I’m not sure it shows in these pictures though, because I can’t look at them objectively. One thing I think you can see, is that the elasticated bit at the back is no longer stretched out tight. I’m pretty darn pleased about that.

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All I can really see though is how dirty they look. I swear I’ve scrubbed them and they’re clean, I just need to look for some vegan stain remover!

My exercise has suffered again this week, but yesterday I was out and about again and normal service has been resumed. This time I was with my little brother and sister.

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This is a little village called Finchingfield, which my brother frequents often because it’s a bit of a hub for motorcyclists. He’s never been to explore though, and looking at the pictures I’ve just remembered we were supposed to visit the windmill. Oh well, we’ll just have to go back…

We had a walk planned that I found online, but it was way out of date and the route we were supposed to be following no longer existed. It took a while for us to realise that. We were still out for a good few hours and got a good bit of walking done, and it’s always nice to catch up properly with your siblings.

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We stopped off at a pub for some lunch but (thankfully on this occasion) they didn’t have a single vegan option. My brother and sister are both vegetarian so ordered the only veggie option, which they really enjoyed, and having come prepared I tucked into my Pink Lady.

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I really didn’t want to go off plan, and I wasn’t even that hungry, so I was more than happy with my little apple. I also had some corn-on-the-cobs which I snacked on later, so it was no problem. Plus I saved some money.

I’d only had two hours sleep after my night shift, driven an hour each way to get to Finchingfield and done 20k steps, but once home I got changed and headed back out to visit that special someone.

This is where my planning paid off, because I already had dinner sorted. I just had to open the tub and stick a fork in. If I hadn’t had something ready, who even knows what I would have eaten, because I certainly wasn’t in the mood for cooking.

I may have been less active over the last couple of weeks, but the food is is the most important part. You can’t out-exercise a bad diet.

After a whole week on plan I’m feeling quite confident about weigh in tonight, so fingers crossed I get a good result.

I’ll update you tomorrow!

Thanks for reading,

Hayley x