Clammy

Sometimes we don’t always get exactly what we want. For instance I always long for warm weather, but when I put my order in I meant I wanted sunshine as well. I did NOT request all of this oppressive cloud along with it. Does anyone know who I complain to?

Not that it’s stopping me, because yesterday I think I managed to turn a corner. It was the night my group would have launched, and I was certainly not looking forward to it. I felt I owed it to everyone to be there even though I very much wanted to shirk my final responsibility and do a runner.

The district manager came to run the the group and to explain to everyone what would happen going forward, and I kept looking at her out of the corner of my eye – looking for signs that she was angry with me, that she was annoyed because it’s my fault she had to do that on top of her normal job.

I didn’t get any angry looks, but I did get a bunch of flowers. Seriously, how flipping lovely is that?

Now its time to let go of all the blame I’m putting on to myself, before I crumble under the weight of it.

This week is all about doing stuff I want to do. I have a new car that’s all ready to go, apart from the fact it needs a tyre repairing. I could take it to the tyre place down the road tomorrow afternoon, or I could go walking instead.

I’m going to go walking. I have another functioning car, the new one can wait.

Last week I was off the wagon more often than I was on it, but I think the fact that I forced myself to get off of my butt and move meant that for the second week in a row I scraped a maintain.

My goal for this week is to have a perfect week filling the rings of the activity app in my Apple Watch (which is touch and go as one of the rings doesn’t always register properly) and to have a week of food optimising 100%. It’s been a few months since I last did that.

Saturday I was out in the gorgeous sunshine (little did I know it wouldn’t last), and Monday I walked to town via the park.

These geeselets are sooooooo in the teenager phase. Look how scruffy they are!

The retail therapy did in fact make me feel a whole lot better. Although I’ve put on a few pounds, my perception of how I look is seriously skewed. I thought I was massive, so when browsing the shops I kept grabbing size 16’s. When I tried them on though they were way too big, so that was reassuring.

My recent meltdowns haven’t done too much damage as far as my size goes.

Today I went and got all clammy and sticky on a five mile walk, but then I did see the cutest cow. There was life and colour everywhere and although the sky was quite frankly a bit crap, being outside made me feel a whole lot better.

This weekend I’ve made sleep, healthy food and exercise my priority and I actually feel human again.

That’s more like it.

Thanks for reading,

Hayley x

6 thoughts on “Clammy

  1. The activity ring is a fickle beast and what you probably haven’t realised yet is that the watch ‘learns’ about you and your fitness.

    If you run an activity programme and you’re not getting it registered as exercise minutes then your heart rate is probably not going high enough during the activity.

    Oddly if you DONT run the workout and leave the watch to figure out what you’re up to the ring fills faster as it’s only really paying attention to your heart rate every 10 minutes.

    Solution? Move faster or don’t run the workouts and let fate decide 🤗

    Liked by 1 person

    • It’s actually the stand ring I’m having trouble with! I was upright and moving around for 20 minutes and the damn thing wouldn’t register. I was sleepy so in the end I gave up and went to bed, but I just scraped the 12 hours anyway.

      I know it doesn’t really matter because I did do it, but I just want that whole week of complete rings 😂

      🤗

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Well done dear. I am so glad you are letting go of that guilt. You really don’t need to be so hard on yourself.

    By the way, have you seen the new wizards unite app? It’s like Pokémon go, but Harry Potter themed and better :D. Just thought I’d tell you in case you need some extra motivation to get out of the house 😀

    Liked by 1 person

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