Positive Pants ON

Wellllllll, I still didn’t get back on plan today. I couldn’t eat at all in the morning because I was so anxious. I went to see Mr. S for lunch, and I told him that I just want to be friends. He seemed quite sad about that (I am too, because I really do love him) and he said he’s not ready for a relationship. Which is fine, but in that case we need to stop acting exactly like we’re in a relationship. Mr. S has not been intentionally leading me on, he’s not that kind of guy. But the fact remains it’s too confusing for me to be stuck in this middle ground where I’m never quite sure where I stand. Or I think I know, then the next minute I’m devastatingly reminded that I was totally wrong – I can’t handle all of those ups and downs. I’m not looking for anyone else, so if in the future Mr. S is ready, then who knows what might happen. In the meantime, it’s just me, myself and I from now on.

We went to Aldi to pick up some lunch bits after this rather depressing conversation, and since I was now feeling both ravenous and rather queasy I just grabbed what I fancied. I had chocolate, hummus, pitta, olives and sundried tomatoes. Not the worst things in the world, but certainly not on plan.

I’m feeling really low to be honest, because despite some ups and downs (the ‘does he like me, doesn’t he like me’ saga that we went through for months because he kept giving me mixed signals) Mr. S has been my shining happy thought. Now my happy thought has gone, and I can’t remember how to feel OK without it.

However, my positive pants are now on, have been pulled ALL THE WAY UP, and I’ll keep putting one foot in front of the other until I get back into the swing of things.

I’m back at work tonight and have already prepared my lunch of broccoli, kale and Tofoo smoked tofu, which is one of my Slimming World essentials. I love it and it’s FREE! Well, it’s a Free Food on Slimming World I should say, in actual fact it’s rather pricey (but totally worth it).

acs_0126In other news, which is most pleasantly surprising, Slimming World have updated Syns Online to include the Oumph range. I’m so happy about this, because when I’m on plan I don’t like eating stuff unless I know exactly what the Syns are. My favourite of the range is 2 Syns per 70g serving.

It goes to show that it’s best to wait for an official value, even though Slimming World advised me to use the calculator in the meantime. I would have ended up going way over, because through the calculator it comes up as about 2 syns for the entire 280g pack. This especially riles me up as the Linda McCartney roast that came out over Christmas was never, ever added at all despite me trying for months to get them to look into it. Oh well, at least they’ve pulled their fingers out this time.

acs_0125

I’m feeling a lot better about my knee situation, too. I’ve ordered some proper vegan trail-running shoes (I’ll talk more about those once I’ve tried them out) plus I now have a knee support and some Ibuprofen gel that have been working wonders. I’m probably not going to train tomorrow even though I’m itching to get out there, but I feel like I could run on it now. It’s probably wise to rest up a bit more though. I must be sensible about this!

So there we have it. On to a new chapter for me. I’m going to make sure it’s a good one.

Thanks for reading,

Hayley x

About Hayleyhttp://hayleyslims.wordpress.comCrazy bird lady, vegan, weight loss and fitness enthusiast, lover of photography

5 thoughts on “Positive Pants ON

  1. Well done for setting boundaries for yourself. It must have been really hard and painful, so make sure to give yourself enough credit for the strength you have shown here. All the more so, since you wrote that you have been in a similar situation before. Good for you for picking up on that and doing something about it. You’re a strong, pretty and amazing woman. Just keep that in mind.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, yes, it was reaaally tough. But I knew the longer I left it the worse it would be, and that getting back to my old self would become harder and harder. Actually I’m feeling pretty much alright again already – it’s amazing the capacity us humans have to bounce back again 😄

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Big hug 🤗

    It’s a complete platitude but sometimes it’s darkest before the dawn – and in cases like this you have to remember that.

    If it’s any consolation at all – even though this may not have (currently) worked out it’s not all that long ago that you wouldn’t have considered putting yourself out there at all.

    If you can do all you’ve done already then you can overcome this and move on too. There’s a penny for every slot 🤗 x

    Liked by 1 person

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