I don’t know what it is about me being around the 14.5 stone mark, but it seems to make me want to eat. The last, ooh, five or so times I’ve been there in recent months some switch gets flicked in my brain that says ‘you’re doing really well, why not have a cheat day?’
Yesterday my brain was practically shouting it at me, but I ignored it.
To begin with I had a really bad sleep yesterday. I can count on one hand the times I’ve woken up before my ‘get Pea her breakfast’ alarm goes off (in fact I think I could have counted it on two fingers) but I was up an hour before. I was too tired to actually get up and do anything, so I ended up laying in bed for two hours before I got up to let Pea out to play.
She was in one of those moods where she just wanted to sit on my shoulder all day, and whenever I tried to get her to do something else she ran round the back of my neck and just perched the other side. So cute!
Once she’d had her fill of me and went off for a nap I had some pretend bacon for lunch with a tablespoon of maple syrup which temporarily filled a hole that was screaming to be filled with 8 slices of bread.
The rest of the day was just broken sleep so I didn’t end up doing any exercise. I really wanted to, but I had to make sure I was fit for my shift and I’m pleased I was sensible about it. It was really busy for the first time in weeks and I only just made it through.
After having a massive dinner of my favourite fried smoked tofu I was finally full so off I went to work where I was rewarded for staying on plan. It was compliment city last night!
I had so many people telling me that I look like I’ve lost more weight again, that I have a spring in my step and that I look so much happier. Although of course I haven’t lost any significant weight my body is definitely changing, I’m walking taller, and the spring in my step is very real indeed. Even when I stopped to talk to a friend (and got us both in trouble) I just couldn’t keep still.
This morning I crashed out and had a fantastic sleep so I can get on and have the kind of day I intended for yesterday. The newly fixed washing machine is on the go, I’m about to pop to Lidl for a veg top-up in the glorious sunshine, then I’ll get on the exercise bike.
My trainer is still poorly so we might be able to train tomorrow but I have to see how he feels. What he has said is that even though it’s meant to be cold as hell next week we WILL still train, we just have to be careful not to slip on any ice. I love it – NO EXCUSES! Apart from being genuinely ill of course.
So have I turned a corner and got over the mental block that’s been stopping me from seeing the elusive 13 stone bracket? I certainly hope so. I have a meal out with my sister on the 4th of March and there aren’t really any healthy options where we’re going, but it’s never been the one meal that’s screwed me up. It’s me thinking ‘f*ck it’ three days before and after that causes the massive gains!
So as I’ve said time and time again, I’m going to aim to stay on plan before and get straight back on it after. I really hope I stop deceiving myself that having a massive blow out won’t make me totally miserable, because it always does. If I can just have that one meal, it’ll be such an achievement.
Until the time comes I’m going to try not to think about it too much, because even if I start planning what I’m having from the menu I’ll start obsessing over food which will make any cravings ten times worse. I must be strong.
Time is getting on now so I must be off. Thanks for reading,