False Start

Yesterday I didn’t go to work in the end, nor did I go today. I’m really annoyed about the fact – I wanted to get back for reasons I’ve mentioned before (extra calories burned, routine etc) but also being off stresses me out because I assume my managers think I’m being dishonest and I worry about whether pay will be withheld. Even though I have photographic evidence and already provided them with photocopies of everything the dentists gave me.

Because I will have been off for a total of 7 days (including weekends) and my first day back will be the start of the 8th, I have to fill in a HMRC form relating to SSP, even though I’m not actually claiming SSP. It’s all very weird, but unavoidable as before work yesterday my face puffed up again in a major way and even looked like it was drooping. Now I look ‘jowly’ and have a nice bruise coming out, and I couldn’t imagine I’d have been able to cope with sitting on a rattling, juddering truck all night. The thought alone makes me wince. Yet here I am still feeling like a fraud!

Anyway, what’s done is done and it couldn’t have worked out any differently other than if I’d cancelled my appointment and let my teeth cause a serious infection. So now I must put it out of my mind until my return to work Tuesday and subsequent ‘you mustn’t actually be ill’ disciplinary. It’ll all come out in the wash.

In the meantime despite being totally on plan it seems I have PUT ON weight. Yeah, I stupidly had a sneak peek thinking that the results were going to be good…

I won’t know for sure until official weigh in on Tuesday morning, but until then? No more sneak peeks! I really must get out of that truly dreadful habit.

I know something good is definitely going on in the background, because my resting heart rate is now plummeting back to normal. It always goes screwy as soon as I fall off the rails, and that peak there shows my Boxing Day hangover where I swear my heart was trying to escape from my chest…

Today I have been genuinely hungry all day, and although my instinct is to eat less because I’ve been less active and because I really want a loss next week, I know that if I don’t eat enough then I’ll crack and have a blow out.

Instead of ruining all of my hard work thus far I made a huge pot of what I suppose I would call soup. I got out a big pan and threw in a tin of chopped tomatoes, a tin of Tesco taco beans and a cup of Sainsbury’s high fibre macaroni. It’s all free so I figured it would keep me full, and therefore on the straight and narrow.

It worked a treat! I had two bowls this size and had another generous portion left, so when dinner came around instead of having a potato like I’d planned I made this soup (stew? Whatever!) a bit fancier by adding roasted peppers and courgettes, halved cherry tomatoes, pickled jalapeños and 1 syn of olives. It’s quite a small amount of olives but the taste permeated through the whole dish and it was (entirely by chance) absolutely delicious!

This is henceforth my go-to cheap, tasty and filling comfort dish.

To be honest I think the main thing keeping me on plan today has been #onplanjan. I didn’t want to make it #mostlyonplanjan you see. And I know that if I hadn’t told you about it on my blog then I would have slipped up way before now. Thanks to you internet people’s I am instead celebrating a nine day streak with no screw ups!

Thank you for keeping me on the straight and narrow.

Now it’s gone midnight so I should probably try to sleep.

Thanks for reading,

Hayley x

About Hayleyhttp://hayleyslims.wordpress.comCrazy bird lady, vegan, weight loss and fitness enthusiast, lover of photography

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