First of all I had to start with that little link 👆 because that’s how I ‘claim’ my blog in Bloglovin’. I’ve started reading a few blogs whose authors annoyingly don’t use WordPress or don’t have email subscribe buttons, so I was looking for somewhere to keep up-to-date with all of my blog reading but in one place. It seems I’ve found it.
Anyway, back to normal services. Today I feel much, much better. Yesterday was a big ole struggle to just keep going, and I did skip group after all. The thing that swayed it was the fact that it was a taster session, and I couldn’t quite take the additional social anxiety of having to make extra conversation rather than relying on the structure of IMAGE therapy.
When I came downstairs with the intention of starting on dinner though, the pumpkins I bought were accusatorily staring at me. They were judging me because I hadn’t carved them yet.
It was the very last thing I felt like doing, but I had to anyway because I’d feel even worse if I ended up throwing them away. That wouldn’t do at all.
I just carved a simple design into my pumpkin, and he came out looking pretty miserable. It wasn’t intentional, I promise. My brother’s also reflected his own mood – evil and happy about it!
I really like his double-decker pumpkin idea, he’s quite creative when he puts his mind to it.
Normally we are pretty boring when it comes to Halloween, but this year we put our pumpkins outside to let the local kids know that we had sweet treats.
When my brother was little the urchins in our street were just awful and we had to sit with the lights off, but this new generation are pretty awesome! They were all so nice, without exception, and it was a pleasure handing over the goodies. They all made a fab effort with their costumes too but even then they were polite enough to compliment me on my little witch’s hat. Bless them!
By the time we’d finished our carving I was pleased I’d forced myself to do it. It was a little accomplishment that made me feel a lot better.
Then I knocked up a quick dinner of chilli-non-carne that was filled with Speed foods (mostly a ridiculous amount of peppers and tomatoes) and came with plenty of beans. It also made a lunch for work, and a very generous lunch for today that I’ve just polished off. I had it with 4 syns of pretend vegan cheese, too.
I’ve been on plan for a day-and-a-half now, and I can feel the motivation coming back. Once I see the scales shift (my home weigh-in showed an 8lb gain) then I’m sure I’ll be right as rain again.
Being back at work last night wasn’t too bad, although I was very sleepy. The best (and worst) bit was seeing that the on-site gym is now finished and they are taking names for inductions. I’m absolutely terrified at the prospect, but I put my name down regardless. I really want to build up some strength, especially in my arms, and I think the use of some proper gym equipment is the best way to achieve that. Plus it’s FREE and I can go after work whenever I want. I’d be stupid not to.
Still, exercising in front of other people, people who I know… I’m trying not to think about it too much. I’ll do the induction then think about what comes after that when I absolutely have to!
Things are definitely looking up then, and I’m still absolutely determined to get into the 13 stones by the 19th of December. I have 7 weigh-ins and about 11 pounds to go. I can still do it! The next time I feel my control slipping though, I need to remember that I’ve made achieving this goal a little tighter than it would have been and I just can’t afford to mess around any more. Watch this space!
Thanks for reading,