I don’t know what is up with me lately but I feel weird. All panicky and anxious.
I only have tonight in work then I’m off for the rest of the week. I have a lot of things I need to get done, the most important being taking my mum to get steroid injections for her carpal tunnel syndrome (plus subsequently waiting on her and keeping her supplied with cups of tea) then decorating the living room. The living room is a pain because Pea can’t be in the house (the paint fumes could literally kill her) so I have to get it all done in one day while she’s at my sister’s. And because I have to work the night before my mum’s appointment I’m going to be knackered, and I’m tired anyway, and I don’t want to do any of it and instead just hide under my duvet.
Blah, blah, blah, moan, moan, moan.
I can’t change the situation, I just have to get on and do it. But why I can’t get that straight in my mind and just soldier on I don’t know. That’s what I normally do – once I know the outcome is inevitable I normally feel better about it. I suppose we all need to have a tantrum every now and then.
Yesterday I managed to find another charity shop bargain, and all of this is stemming from the fact that I can just about squeeze into a size 14, which seems to be the most available size in charity shops and elsewhere. It has opened up a whole new world of frugal clothes shopping. I picked up a lovely dress for just £3! I tried it on and it looks perfect from the front, the only issue is at the back where a roll of back fat looks just a little odd. But it won’t be long before I’m fitting into it properly that’s for sure! It’s more of a summer dress, but I saw a lady I follow on Instagram wearing rollneck tops underneath summer dresses and thought why the hell didn’t I think of that? It’s a great idea!
After I took to my mum to the podiatrist and found my charity shop bargain I went to visit a friend I haven’t seen in over a year for his birthday. I went early and spent an hour or so chatting to his girlfriend who is a lovely lady, before I completely surprised him as he came home from work. He’s an emotional guy at the best of times so I wasn’t surprised at all to see him well up. It was just lovely!
His girlfriend wasn’t feeling well so she got an early night while we headed over the road to a hotel restaurant that he was raving about.
Unfortunately as soon as we sat down I could see it would be an issue for me. Not one of the three vegetarian options were labelled as such, which wasn’t a good sign, so I asked the waitress if there was anything that could be made vegan. She didn’t know but bought me out the allergen list, that companies have to have by law. As I scanned through almost everything had eggs or dairy in it, until my heart leaped at the sight of ‘wheat, gluten’. Ooh, what’s this then? Oh. Chicken nuggets. Then again… Oh. Red wine. Finally – garlic bread! A lot of supermarket garlic bread is vegan because they use oil and not butter, and this must have been the same!
The waitress came back (after taking my order of garlic bread and chips) to inform me that the allergen sheet is wrong and the garlic bread does in fact have butter. Furthermore it’s from a packet so the ‘chef’ can’t make it with oil for me.
Chips it is then!
I wasn’t sure about the portions so I ordered three, but they were massive so I didn’t eat all of them. I sure as hell felt sick by the time I got home, probably because I’m not used to such an oily carb overload.
I’ll be honest – earlier in the day I was feeling sorry for myself and had peanut butter on toast plus way too many custard donuts from the Co-op. Screw it, I’ll be totally honest. I ate 9 donuts in total. So I’m expecting a gain believe it or not!
I am so excited about getting into a 14 (I’m sure that’s been coming across in my posts!) that I just cannot let this continue. If hunger isn’t the problem, food isn’t the answer.
Being off work is always a danger, but it’s weigh in later on and the line has been drawn. I am pledging to have a week 100% on plan, then once that’s under my belt things should be easier.
Plus I’ll feel better when all the bits and bobs have been done this week and I can concentrate on things I want to do, not things I have to do.
Sorry for the moany post, and thank you if you made it this far!