The other day I was looking in the mirror and I realised that I didn’t completely hate the person staring back at me. My chins have reduced in number in the last few months and I’m starting to see my collar bones. I noticed that even my shoulders are looking smaller! So I was a bit taken aback by a conversation with one of my colleagues a couple of days ago. We were talking about exercise and he said I should go swimming as I have the perfect shoulders for it. Because apparently if you look at the olympic swimmers they all have reeeeeeeally broad shoulders and yours, Hayley, are like a perfect square! Old Hayley might have been completely horrified at these remarks but New Hayley knows her shoulders are just the right width for the rest of her body. But it does make you wonder about what sort of things people deem appropriate to say to other people. It’s only in recent years people have stopped telling me that I’m tall, but when I was in my twenties it happened a lot. D’ya know what? I am actually aware of how tall I am! Anyhoo I told a good work friend about the shoulder conversation I’d had and she told me another man had said that she looks pregnant and was clearly digging to see if she was. And not in a nice way (if there even is such a thing). The weird thing is that she isn’t even very overweight, and where she is carrying a teeny bit of extra padding it in NO WAY looks like she’s pregnant. The only thing I can think of is that most of the people I work with are full of crap!
On the other hand I did have a great conversation with a Polish colleague who asked me to explain what ‘flipping’ means, as in ‘flipping hell’. Which is actually much harder than it sounds! In the end we were both in stitches, but I’m pretty sure neither of us quite knew what the other was going on about. His English is not very good (not that I’m complaining as it’s better than my Polish, which I am in the process of learning), and once we’d established what ‘flipping hell’ meant he tried to describe through hand signals what he thought it had meant. I’m not sure if he was referring to a pinball machine or a dolphin! Plus it’s only when you think about it you realise how many meanings the same words have in English. No wonder he was confused! Once I got drunk in town with a friend who had to go home early (because he was a lightweight) and I got the bus home. This particular Polish chap was on the same bus. As luck would have it, he was drunk too, and we had a fantastic conversation! Again where neither of us knew what the other was saying, but it felt like having drinks with an old friend and I was left with a really good feeling! It was like that scene from Love Actually with the Portuguese lady and Colin Firth, but without the romance…
Thinking about the rest of my week as usual it has been fairly uneventful. I’ve been gradually working my way through my Skinny Bakery purchases but I have been struggling with having them all in the fridge. It’s one of those things where you want to order a few different things at once because of the cost of postage, but I also want to eat all of the things at once too. So although I’ve enjoyed the bits I bought I’m also glad to be shot of the temptation. Sometimes I have a bit more willpower and it doesn’t bother me, but this week I’ve been struggling and want to eat ALL OF THE THINGS IN THE HOUSE! I haven’t gone over my syns once though, and for that I am proud.
I’ve spent a lot of time recently thinking about the positives that will come from losing weight and what I’ve got coming up this year to look forward to, and I realised that I’m in a good place, positivity-wise. At the moment anything seems possible. I have absolutely no doubt that I’ll reach my target, and for me that is really weird. I’ve never felt this certain of anything before. When I’ve lost weight in the past, because I’m so big in general I always assumed that I’d never get below a size 16, but now I fully intend to get into a 14. Because why the hell shouldn’t I? When I was little my mum told me I was big boned (probably to make me feel better but it just gave me a defeatist attitude to losing weight) but jesus they’re not that bloody big! I can do it and I bloody well will! I have 4 st 11.5 lbs to go until I reach the target I’ve set myself and it seems ridiculously achievable right now. But if I’m still not content when I get there then I’ll just drop it down lower. No probs! (She says).
Today it’s my one day off work and so far I’ve had a lazy day hanging out with my parrotlet, who has just been so sweet. So we had a little photo shoot then she fell asleep on my shoulder for a while. Right now she’s having a pre-bedtime preen, so once she’s done I need to actually get some dinner sorted then walk around until I get my 10,000 steps, or maybe I’ll go to 12,000 today, who knows. I’ll just leave a few pics of her cute face right here for you!
Thanks for reading,