Peak Hayley

Oh darn. You may remember that I went for a run the other day. Well since then my knee has been hurting.

Damn and bother.

I may just have to accept, at least for now, that running is off the table. I get the impression that if I want to find out exactly what’s going on with it then it would mean a long fight to get a referral from my doctor to see a specialist, and I don’t really fancy having that fight right now. Walking still seems to be fine, so that’s what I’ll focus on.

On Wednesday I walked into town because I had to return a parcel for my mum, which I could have returned round the corner. But round the corner there aren’t swans and geese, so where’s the fun in that?

Since getting out and about I’ve been feeling a lot better and the positivity and focus is coming back. Having said that, yesterday I was hungry all day long and nothing I ate seemed to satisfy me. By the afternoon I was dreaming of coffee and walnut cake, but I didn’t really want it. What I really want is to fit into my vintage Levi’s once and for all!

Just lately I’ve been allowing myself to give in to my random cravings, telling myself that I’d give myself one more day then I’d get back on it. When I lost 7 stone in 2012, it was that exact mindset that saw me back where I started within a very short space of time. It was one more day every day for months and months. Every single time I believed myself that it was the last time, and it’s only experience that is telling me now that I need to nip it in the bud.

Don’t trust that inner voice Hayley, she’s lying.

I’m all for allowing yourself a treat, but the simple fact is that if I listened to every impulse that I have then one day it would likely kill me, one way or another.

Instead of saying ‘treat yo’self’, what I did was exactly what my body was asking me to do. I ate until I was satisfied, even if that did take more food than normal. I managed to say completely focussed until a saboteur came along in the form of Steve and a little bar of chocolate.

One of the reasons I know that I love Steve more than I’ve ever loved anyone before, is that I’m happy to share food with him. We always have a little (or big) bite of what the other is eating, and for the first time in my life I haven’t been genuinely tempted to stab the person taking my food with a fork. No really.

So when he wanted some of the chocolate he’d bought for me, I gave it up happily. The rest I did eat even though a little voice was telling me it may not be the best idea, but I also squirreled away the wrapper to check the Syns when I got home.

I decided to do something that I never do and actually record the Syns, even if it took me over my daily allowance, in my food diary. At group last week I picked up one of the 12 week journals and I’m absolutely determined to fill it in accurately for the duration.

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By doing that, I could well be at target by April. Wouldn’t that be something?

So I worked out the Syns for my portion of the chocolate, and found that by rejigging the dinner I had planned I could still be within 15 Syns for the day. Yay!

One thing Steve pointed out last night, that I’d never really been conscious of before, is that when I’m on plan is when I really thrive. It’s not about how I look, it’s that when I’m in control and giving my body healthy food, I’m at my best. I’m happier, more energetic, my mind is sharper… everything just comes together.

For dinner I piled my plate with a mountain of veggies and a big pile of Slimming World chips, and afterwards I was finally full. Mission accomplished. Today my appetite is right back to normal. Phew!

Apart from having the munchies, yesterday was a very exciting day. My friend who is getting married messaged me a few days ago to say he’d ring me at some point because he had a proposal for me. I was intrigued, as I knew it wasn’t a marriage proposal. He’d just done that after all!

He rang yesterday evening and I was absolutely honoured that he asked me to photograph his wedding. My reply was ‘yes, yes, a thousand times yes!’ To be honest I had secretly been hoping he would ask since he announced his engagement.

This whole situation is testament to how much I’ve changed lately, because a work colleague asked me the same thing a couple of years back. I really wanted to do it, but I had to decline in the end because I just didn’t have the confidence. Even the thought of it would make my palms sweat instantly. Apart from not wanting to interact with the wedding guests, I also didn’t have faith in myself that I could do his big day justice.

This time around, I know it’s going to be awesome in all respects. I can’t wait – my mind is brimming with ideas about how to capture all the special moments.

In addition to that, the wedding is in September so it’s a fantastic incentive to smash my goals well in advance. I have enough time to save up for a really spectacular outfit that I will feel amazing in. Bring it on.

Finally I’ve been feeling really creative and have found my journaling mojo. I decided I didn’t like the cover of my latest journal so I made a new one and stuck it over the top, and now I’m buzzing with lots of little ideas for the contents. It’s turned out to be a fantastic pursuit because it doesn’t take up that much time and it’s ridiculously satisfying.

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In fact I think it’s time for a little arty session right now, so I’ll sign off.

Have a great weekend!

Hayley x

The First

Yesterday was fantastic, and just what I needed to give me the motivation for yet another fresh start. I wasn’t on plan, but I just had the nicest and most relaxing day I’ve had in a long, long time.

I started off the day by getting creative. One of my bestest friends announced on Saturday that he’d proposed to his girlfriend (a truly lovely lady) and that she’d said YES. So I experimented with my watercolours and knocked them up a nice engagement card.

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I am so happy with how it turned out. I did a little five minute sketch of my sister’s bird, Petrie, being a borb (a round bird) and made a cover for a journal I’m working on. I’m trying not to be too precious about anything and just do it purely for enjoyment. It worked – I was having a great time.

In the evening Steve and I went to the cinema together for the first time ever, to see Stan & Ollie, and it was one of those rare occasions where I’ve seen a film and not had a single criticism. To top it all off, when I got home I had an early night and slept for a magnificent eleven-and-a-half hours. I needed that so badly.

I’ve decided that the last two weeks don’t count and that today (the 14th) is my official start of the year. So happy new year to me!

In the spirit of openness I will tell you that over the last two weeks (I last weighed in New Year’s Eve) I have gained 5 lbs. It’s half as bad as I thought it would be actually.

What came before doesn’t matter though, what matters is what I do now.

This morning training officially restarted with a run, and again it went better than I expected. The first two miles were a similar pace to what I was doing before my knee went wrong which was a nice surprise, and I only had to stop because my upper thighs were protesting. I probably could have pushed myself harder but I wanted to avoid an injury on my very first run of the year.

The next two miles were very slow indeed, but only because I had company.

A Labrador joined me on my walk, and whereas usually an owner turns up eventually this one was apparently owner-less. I waited around for a bit and soon saw a lady with three dogs who was not the owner. She was very snippy with me for not having ‘my dog’ on a lead, because she couldn’t control her largest dog which was, ahem, not on a lead. I didn’t press the issue though and took my new friend back in the direction he came from.

I kept him with me for a while but all of sudden he just bolted and there was nothing I could do to hold on to him. I don’t think he’s fully grown yet but wow, he was strong! It turns out with his super-duper dog hearing he heard something I didn’t – his owner calling him.

I soon learned that he’s a rescue dog named Barney, whose favourite pastime is running away when his owner’s children leave the garden gate open. He was so friendly, but his owner told me he will make a run for it at every opportunity. I wished them both good luck and continued my walk, making the most of the slower pace by taking a few snaps and getting proof that there was a tiny bit of blue sky, even if it didn’t last.

This evening I had group with my lovely Slimming World buddies. Me being me I totally forgot that January is a busy time in group so it was a nice surprise to see so many people there. I left with a 12-week journal in hand and tons of motivation for the week ahead.

I’m ending this weekend feeling like I’m finally getting somewhere. It’s going to be a good week people, I can feel it.

Thanks for reading,

Hayley x

Worse then Better

Do you know what? I’ve really been struggling over the last week. My anxiety has been playing up a bit, even though I went to the doctors the week before last to talk about coming off my medication. I was feeling so much better up until now. My doctor has reduced the dose, and I’m going to stick with it because life is always going to get in the way, and I still feel like I can handle it.

If it weren’t for the fact that my concentration is seriously suffering these days, which I think is a side effect from the anti-depressants (along with a few others that I’d like to get rid of), then I would be quite happy to just keep taking them. But something’s amiss and if I can find ways to cope without them, that’s what I’d rather do. Plus I’ll save myself £9 or whatever it is on my prescription!

Up until last week I’ve barely had any time for myself, so since the end of November I’ve done hardly any exercise at all. I’m not exaggerating – it’s not a case of ‘well I could squeeze in a workout if I tried…’  Every spare second I had went to preparing food or trying to sleep.

This week my routine, especially regarding Steve, has changed due to changes in living arrangements and work commitments. Although I’m seeing less of him and of course I really miss him, I was planning to use the time to catch up on sleep.

It didn’t work out.

For one I was incredibly stupid and spent my entire weekend cleaning and sorting without taking a break, then when I had time to sleep, I found I couldn’t. Typical.

I started to feel a little bit overwhelmed with everything until yesterday when finally something clicked. Lately my number one priority has been energy conservation. I’ve put off getting back into exercise because I thought it was best to rest, which sounds good in theory, but in reality it has the opposite effect. The less I do, the worse I sleep, the hungrier I get, the more depressed I feel…

The frustrating thing is I know all this, but I kind of got swept up in everything. It happens after all.

So today I forced myself to get out of bed (rather than laying awake feeling increasingly frustrated at the fact I’m not sleeping) and walked into town and back. I took some oats with me with the intention of feeding the huge flock of geese that normally hang out in the park, but on this occasion they were absent.

The lake was recently dredged and a body found after a poor chap went missing over Christmas, so I suppose that might have scared them off for now. The swans were in residence though, and they did not seem to mind getting the pick of the oats.

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It felt really good to get out, and now I’m feeling the right kind of tired, if that makes sense. I’ll be off to bed shortly for a nice long sleep before work. Heaven!

I haven’t been eating right for the most of the year so far, so fueling my body properly is also a huge priority. Hopefully the exercise will help with my cravings and there will be no more slip ups. That’s the plan anyway.

Thanks for reading,

Hayley x

Broken Promises

Let’s get the Slimming World stuff out of the way first. Over Christmas I coped quite well with a big but manageable and guilt-free gain. Since then though, I feel like I haven’t been able to stop eating crap! I don’t even really want it, I’m just munching down sugary, fatty rubbish like there’s no tomorrow.

This weekend is the first weekend in months and months that I’ve had to myself, and rather than doing what I’d promised i.e. slowing down and taking more time for myself, I actually haven’t stopped the whole time except to sleep. Even that has been restless. I’ve just been grabbing whatever to eat partly because I just couldn’t be bothered to prepare anything and partly because I was all too willing to give into my cravings.

So we start again, again, again. Sigh. I’m trying to get enthusiastic about it but I’m struggling a bit at the mo.

I missed group yesterday, which was half expected. I started the weekend by beginning the mammoth task of sorting through basically everything I own and even though it shouldn’t have come as a surprise, it took a lot, lot longer than I thought it would. I had still hoped to make it to weigh in, but I realised weigh in had already started when I was still up to my knees in boxes and who even knows what else.

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I ended yesterday with three sacks of charity shop donations (which as I’m so busy are being picked up by a charity tomorrow) a big pile of stuff to sell, a sack or two of stuff that was no good to anyone, and a nice clean floor that you can actually see. I now have a garden full of a dismantled wardrobe, two dismantled shelving units, a broken cooker and various other bits and bobs. Yeah, there are a few tip runs needed.

Today, even though I have work tonight, I spent the whole day cleaning. I have scrubbed the kitchen walls from top to bottom, cleaned the tops of the cupboards, cleaned the kitchen windows, vacuumed and scrubbed as much carpet as I could before I ran out of cleaner.

I still have an absolute ton of stuff to do around the house, but where I’ve been imagining the end result I subconsciously got it into my head that everything needs to be done yesterday. As such I’ve turned something I was looking forward to doing into something that’s stressing me out, so I need to put my money where my mouth is and CHILL THE HELL OUT AND ACTUALLY START LOOKING LOOKING AFTER MYSELF. I mean it this time.

Tomorrow I’m doing things for me. I’m going to be on plan, I’m going to hula hoop (something I haven’t done for a couple of months now) and do something artistic. No stressing.

Hopefully happy Hayley will be back for the next post!

Thanks for reading x

Start Again Again

I’ve decided that an even fresher of fresh starts is needed, because this week has not exactly gone to plan! It started on Wednesday, with my first shift back at work for the new year. I was curious when my manager asked to speak to me after the brief – normally that happens when you’re in trouble but I couldn’t have done anything wrong already, could I?

I could. I was supposed to be in New Year’s Day, but thankfully my manager knew it was totally out of character and that I wasn’t trying to pull a fast one. In fact it’s screwed me over because I won’t get paid for that shift and one of my newest resolutions is to not take unpaid time off work. Bum.

My most important plan (to sleep more) is also off to a rocky start. Yesterday I had a busy morning, a really restless 4.5 hours sleep, then I went to see Steve for a few hours before work. He said that we could do it another time, but heart over head, I wanted to see him so I went anyway. Before I even left his I was dreaming of getting my shift over and crawling into bed.

I had a revolting yet, um, interesting (and sugar free) parma violet-flavoured energy drink on the way to his, another on the way to work, one during my shift, plus a cup of tea on my lunch break… but when early finishes were offered at 4:45 I couldn’t help myself and I went home.

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It has never been so clear to me that extreme tiredness equals ravenous hunger. I was tummy-rumbling hungry from the moment I woke despite eating loads of on-plan food, so by the time I got home I just snapped and ate some rubbish that will set me back a little bit this week.

I don’t  see it as a disaster, because when I woke up at 10am to feed Pea (feeling a lot more human) I realised that I still had the whole day ahead of me with another 14 hours’ opportunity to be on plan. I have three whole days, plus a few hours, before I get weighed, with loads of potential to make progress. The fact I’m sitting here writing about what happened is progress in itself after all.

Now I’m spending another 15 minutes hanging out with Pea (who is currently shouting at me because she isn’t enjoying the sound of my typing) then it’s back to bed to get as much sleep as possible before I… go to Steve’s before work again. It won’t be like yesterday though, I’ll be going with at least twice as much sleep under my belt, and no evil energy drinks.

Thanks for reading,

Hayley x

First of Many

This weekend has been a busy one. The day before New Year’s Eve, despite me being so good in the days leading up to that point, Steve and I decided to go out for a meal. He fancied Chinese, which didn’t really appeal to me, so we compromised on Thai. We tried a place round the corner that neither of us had been to before, and it was quite a while before either of us realised it was actually a Malaysian restaurant. It is called The Malaya, so the clues were there, but in my defence I didn’t look at the name before we went in. All I knew was that the food smells coming from the building were intoxicating!

We hit gold though. We stumbled across a really lovely place with nice decor, super friendly staff, and an amazing menu. Steve wasn’t sure what to order so the waiter brought out two samples of curry sauces for him to try first. How nice is that? There were several vegan options for starters and mains, and I ended up ordering from the set menu so my two courses were just £14.90.

I had roti canai and satay tofu, and both were absolute heaven. Every mouthful was utterly delicious. I’ll DEFINITELY be going back, that’s for sure.

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So New Year’s Eve arrived and I was up nice and early to get weighed. I had a sneak peek earlier in the week and the scales showed me going from 13st 6lbs to just nudging back into the 12’s, but the night before had left its mark. I’d also had a couple of glasses of wine and some sweet treats later on in the evening.

Despite that, I still had a 3lb loss which I’m damn well chuffed with! It meant I got back to an 8 stone loss, and next week I hope I’ll be officially back in the 12 stone bracket. Group was also fantastic and I left with positivity practically coming out of my ears.

In the afternoon Steve and I went for a little walk at the place where he started training me to run back in February. It was good to take stock of how, despite us not doing much exercise-wise for the last month or two, we’re still fitter than when we first started. It got me thinking about how nice it’ll be to get cracking again.

In the evening he took me to his old local for a quick, and very pink, G&T, followed by a little walk he’d been promising for the festive period. There’s a lovely little street in the village where people go absolutely mental with the Christmas lights, so that was quite magical.

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From there we showed our faces at his son’s who was having a little get together, and somehow, someone convinced me to do a shot of vodka. I am so easily led. Thankfully I managed to avoid the same fate as that very same chap, who lost a bet and had his hair shaved off… Anyway, despite the vodka shot I didn’t drink too much and managed to avoid a hangover for New Year’s Day.

We left quite early, had a very respectable night watching Madness on TV, and I’ve been totally back on plan since the clock hit midnight.

Despite not having hangovers, we were both pretty pooped the next day. But we still managed to get out for a walk to brush the cobwebs away. First stop was Benfleet where we went to look at a sculpture relating to the vikings. It’s erected in the area where the Battle of Benfleet is believed to have taken place in the year 894 (how bonkers is that?) and that battle was the subject of one episode of the Netflix series The Last Kingdom that we watched just a couple of weeks ago.

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After a walk along the sea wall a little bit down the road, we had lunch then I left so that we could both get an early night. 11 hours sleep later and I’m finally feeling like myself again!

Of course I wouldn’t really be a blogger if I wasn’t reflecting over 2018 and making plans for the year ahead. 2018 was a little bit crazy. I met Steve, ran for the first time ever, ate and drank more than I have in a good few years and still managed to end 2018 two stone lighter than when I started it… I’ve been so busy and tired, therefore I haven’t found the time to really focus like I would normally.

So although I have quite specific and monumental plans for 2019, which I’ll talk about in future posts, the main thing I want to do is slow down. I’m going to have more sleep, eat more healthy food, do more of the things I enjoy that aren’t exercise related (and not feel guilty for taking the time to do them) and try to keep in mind from time-to-time the bigger goals I’m aiming for.

For the first time in my life I’m thinking about a long-term plan, rather than living basically from month-to-month and hoping everything turns out for the best. There are things I want that I never thought I could achieve, but now I know I can.

One thing 2018 taught me is that I’m stronger than I think, and I know that’s true because my friend Dave reliably tells me that it is so. He knows what he’s talking about.

That’s the first post of 2019 down, here’s to many, many more.

Happy New Year!

Hayley x

The Most Sleepy Time of the Year

I woke up late Christmas morning (7am) because I was way behind on all the things I was meant to do, yet I still managed to squeeze in a quick photo session in the garden. In recent years it’s been too warm and sunny and hasn’t felt like Christmas, but there was a nice frost so I got out there to make the most of it.

At 9:30 I left to pick up my sister, her boyfriend and little Petrie (more about her later) which was exactly when the tiredness hit me. At that very moment I think I could have happily crawled into bed and slept for 10 hours straight. But it was Christmas Day, and Christmas Day is for fun things!

I picked them up in full-on Mrs Claus attire, and I must say I think I rocked it.

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What’s especially awesome is that even though this month has seen a fair few gains, I could still do up and sit down in my size 14 dress. That belt has absolutely no give whatsoever, so I feel pretty good about that.

Once everyone was collected and I was home safe, that was when the tiredness really hit me, and I felt pretty rough. I’ve been powering through the sleepiness all month and (typical eh?) it decided to catch up with me Christmas Day.

I wasn’t as ‘present’ as I would liked to have been (no pun intended) but I didn’t have anything left in me so I kind of slumped down in the corner. Of course I still managed to open my presents.

We had a £10 per person limit this year and I’ll tell you this – never again! You think it’ll make things easier, but it’s actually incredibly difficult. However all of the presents I got were super thoughtful and I think I did pretty well, too. The result is that I’m feeling super loved this year.

My sister painted me an absolutely INCREDIBLE fox, but at the time I didn’t realise she’d painted it herself. I looked at the tiny signature on the painting but where I was so tired I honestly couldn’t process what I was looking at so it was only yesterday I realised how special her present is.

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What an absolute numpty I am.

One thing I’d been especially excited about this year was giving handmade gifts, and although I ran out of time and didn’t do as much as I wanted, two special friends were as happy with their embroidery hoops as I hoped they would be. I’ve been itching to share this photo.

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I enjoyed making them so much, I can’t wait to get making again in the new year. After I’ve caught up on my sleep that is.

In the afternoon we sat down to a delicious dinner cooked by mother (my mouth genuinely just watered at the thought of it) then while it was going down Petrie came out to play.

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She took a special liking to my brother’s head, and also the pocket of the dungarees I bought my sister for her birthday. How adorable is she?!

Before I knew it, it was time to meet Steve at his mum’s which was an hour’s drive away. By the time I got there I was flushed with tiredness but glad I’d managed to make the journey safely and exceptionally glad that I didn’t have to go anywhere else for the time being!

I’d bought a few little presents for Steve’s son, daughter, his mum and her partner, and I was very relieved to find that everyone was happy with what I’d bought. They were also really chuffed with my wrapping and label-writing, as I’d hoped they would be. I’m actually quite proud of how my calligraphy has improved this month.

I even made some labels for a work friend to give to his girlfriend.

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At this point I was so tired I forgot that I had presents to open too, and I was absolutely blown away by my present from Steve. I’ll share a picture of that in a future post because I want to take a better picture of it and the light at the moment is rubbish.

Speaking to people at work and whatnot, it seems that for a lot of people Christmas is a time for grudgingly spending time with family members you don’t like all that much, but I’m feeling so lucky that I got to spend my day with all of the people (and animals!) I care about most in the world.

I might have been away with the fairies for a lot of it, but it was still an awesome Christmas.

From a Slimming World perspective the month has not gone well. I made the effort to weigh in Christmas Eve and I’m glad I did, because even though I gained another 6lbs (on top of the 5.5 gained the last time I was weighed) I needed that wake up call.

I finished off the last of my ‘naughty’ food on Boxing Day so now I’m right back on it and feeling exceptionally positive. Me and Steve are planning to have a quiet new year and to, quite literally, hit the ground running on the 1st. We’re planning to train New Year’s Day and I am SO looking forward to it.

I’m also in quite a good place mentally. I don’t feel particularly guilty about going off plan, and even had a laugh with some colleagues about the ‘food babies’ we have grown. At that moment I felt just like everyone else, and completely normal for overindulging over the festive period.

I think it’s because I don’t feel guilty that I feel particularly good about being on plan now, and totally sure that 2019 is my final target year.

Bring it on!

Hayley x

I Still Didn’t

What an awful week. For the first three days I was perfectly on plan, getting more organised and feeling positive, but then something terrible happened.

Just over five years ago my sister’s boyfriend got a tiny little parrot (a pacific parrotlet, similar to Pea) called Kiwi. It’s really hard to describe to anyone who hasn’t met a friendly parrot what they are like, because no words can really quite convey how amazing they are.

I’m just going to leave this little video right here, because it speaks volumes I think.

I thought I’d include this one as well to show you her feisty side. I was bird-sitting, which she really wasn’t happy about. Bird body-language is quite easy to read, and as you can probably imagine she is saying ‘I would give anything right now to bite the absolute eff out of you’.

On Wednesday evening I got a call from my sister, which is never a good sign as we are texters through and through, to say that Kiwi was badly hurt. That’s the thing about these little birds. Pea is rather shy and reserved but in general parrotlets are ridiculously inquisitive and often get themselves into trouble. Pea has had a couple of visits to the vets already where she’s managed to hurt herself despite all of the bird-proofing I’ve done.

Kiwi was in a bad way but we couldn’t get her to a specialist vet until the next morning. After her vet appointment everything seemed very positive and she really perked up, but as these birds are so, so fragile everything can change in an instant. By Friday evening she was gone.

As you can imagine we are all heartbroken, but my sister and her boyfriend especially so. I’d say Kiwi was like one of the family, but truth is she was family. My little bird-niece.

Since Wednesday almost everything I’ve eaten has been crap that I’ve picked up purely out of convenience. I should have caught up on sleep this week but I haven’t been able to stay asleep (case in point, I was exhausted last night but inexplicably woke up at 4am and have been up since then) so I’ve been exceptionally lazy where it comes to food.

I haven’t even really wanted the rubbish I’ve been eating, the one exception being lunch yesterday.

Steve and I had a meal booked in with his family that was arranged weeks ago, but as is so often the case (especially when there is a big group of people involved) things didn’t quite go to plan. When we got there we did a headcount and there were 12 of us, but the table booked was for 10. Oops.

They couldn’t squeeze us in so Steve and I offered to go and find somewhere else to eat, which was fine by me because I’d looked into another pub just round the corner while I was investigating vegan options and I thought it would be right up my street. Also we’d be meeting the family back at his mum’s house later on so we wouldn’t have to miss out on catching up with everyone.

I was right – the pub was absolutely lovely. Being so close to Christmas everywhere seems to be fully booked but we were able to sneak on to a reserved table as long as we were out by 3:30. We had an hour-and-a-half which was perfect for us.

As it happens we ended up sitting at the best and most sought-after table in the room, we had fast service as they needed us to eat our dinner before the next people got there, and the food was absolutely spectacular.

My nut roast was so succulent – I’d love to know their secret, and Steve absolutely loved his sticky toffee pudding. After eating although there was still time to hang around we left the table and relaxed in comfy chairs in front of a wood burner.

The day started with potential disaster but ended up as absolute perfection.

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I was just sitting here thinking about having a week on plan without any social events to trip me up when I got a message asking me out for dinner one day. In this instance it’s a chain restaurant (albeit a nice one) so at least I can look up exactly what I’ll be having beforehand. I’m also designated driver and I’m working that night anyway so no drinking for me.

Tonight will see me facing another gain on the scales, and although it’s our group’s Christmas party and I really want to go to that, I also really don’t want to go to group either. You could say I’m feeling a little bit conflicted! However I know that once I’ve had my weigh in I’ll start to feel better and I can enjoy the evening.

I just have to focus on the good.

Thanks for reading,

Hayley x

Facing the Music

Yesterday I didn’t make as much progress with my crafts as I would have liked. In fact my latest project took four times as long to complete than I anticipated so I am currently quite far behind. I finished one thing this afternoon though and on the plus side it turned out insanely better than I thought it would. I think its recipient will be well and truly chuffed.

While I was working I brought Pea with me and she ventured out to explore the living room for the first time ever, then sat on my shoulder and watched what I was doing. That’s a perfect afternoon right there.

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Yesterday’s weigh in wasn’t as disastrous as I thought it would be. After two weeks between weigh-ins, I gained 5.5 lbs, which for me is practically nothing. I honestly thought it would be at least 8.

I hope I can get that all off be next week, but even if I don’t I’m already excited about group next week. It’s our Christmas party and just like with Dress Like an Elf Day, I’m dressing up and I don’t care if no one else does.

Another exciting thing is that we get our new member packs on Christmas Eve, along with all new stickers for our books. When I rejoined although my consultant offered to give me all of them, I only put new stickers on my book. If I’m honest I did regret it afterwards. Now I can cover my whole book with all of my shiny stickers and I can’t wait. I know, I’m easily pleased!

I’m back feeling focused again which is great, and I even tried a new recipe (Slimming World chicken Waldorf salad) for the first time in an age. I just swapped the chicken for Iceland No Chick strips (Free) and Greek yoghurt for Tesco Free From unsweetened soya yoghurt (also Free).

To keep me on track I’m posting more on Instagram, plus filling in an old-school food diary that my consultant will check for me next Monday just to check no bad habits have crept in without me even realising.

Finally, the main tree is up in the living room and everything is right in the world.

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Thanks for reading,

Hayley x

I can, but I didn’t.

But I will.

In my last post I wrote about being on plan when I can, but that didn’t quite work out. I did one day before everything went topsy turvy.

The next day I got into work to find out that one of the managers had brought in cakes to thank us for our hard work. That’s OK I thought, I won’t be able to eat any of those.

Before the thought had barely registered though my manager pulled me to one side. She felt bad that the last time we had cakes I missed out, so she bought me a big bar of vegan-friendly dark chocolate and a little honeycomb bar. How lovely of her! I’d seen the honeycomb one online and it was on my to-try list, so that was extra brilliant.

I lasted two hours before I cracked, and all of the chocolate was gone shortly after.

The next day I found the giant vegan-friendly mince pies in Co-op, so I bought a couple of those (but I did give one to Steve) and then on Saturday things really went wrong.

We were planning to go out, but Steve wasn’t feeling very well so that was shelved, and by the time I got round to his I wasn’t really feeling it either. I’ve just been exhausted this weekend – I think everything has finally caught up with me.

So over the weekend I totally lost the plot and have eaten waaaaaay too much, and all of it was the wrong stuff.

On the plus side I’m now sick to death of bad food, but since I’ve been eating rubbish right up until bed time yesterday, I’m bloated as hell and will be seeing a massive gain at group this evening. I’m also hormonal. It is what it is though. I missed group last week and refuse to miss it again.

The good thing is that there’s still time.

I reckon I’ve put on half a stone, but I also know I’m in with a good chance of getting that back off in a week, and certainly by Christmas Eve morning. Originally there was going to be no group, but my awesome consultant has arranged a morning session so we can weigh in one last time before the big day.

I’ve got two whole weeks to undo any damage done, with only one thing that might throw a spanner in the works. I’m out of a meal on the 16th, but it’s just one meal, and I doubt it’ll be anything particularly bad. It’s not a very vegan-friendly place so last time we ate there I had the only option available to me which was a tomato-based gnocchi dish. If I don’t drink (and I don’t plan to) I should be fine. Let’s do this!

In other news Friday was ‘Dress like an Elf Day’, and as I suspected I was the only one who made an effort. Unfortunately it was also a really quiet night at work with not many people in so it was all a little underwhelming.

Some of the newer members of staff just stared at me like I was absolutely cracked, but a few others laughed so that was nice.

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Regardless, I clearly looked fabulous. I’m also pretty chuffed that the last time I wore that jumper it was tight on me. Christmas NSV, yay!

Today I made an effort to get up early so I can make two Christmas presents. I aim to have them done by the time I leave for group this evening, then I have tomorrow off work so I plan to make three more Christmas presents. These ones are a little more in-depth but I reckon I can complete them. After that the present-making will all be done and I can concentrate on wrapping and making pretty labels which is one of my very favourite parts.

While I’m doing my crafting I’m also going to be watching Christmas films with my mum. I do love this time of year!

I’m definitely going to make more time for blogging this week, because it really helps me stay on track.

And I really need to stay on track.

Until next time,

Hayley x